When you receive something rough from a Vietnamese, you will often hear "Thông cảm nhé" (Sympathize with me).
Why not "Xin lỗi" (sorry), but "Sympathize with me"?
In this issue, we will tell you about this custom from a cultural and language perspective.
Xin lỗi is used in reasonably serious cases.
When you learn Vietnamese, you will see the word "Xin lỗi" in the initial vocabulary. It is introduced as the equivalent of "Gomen nasai" in Japanese or "I'm sorry" in English, but if you use it in the same sense, Vietnamese people may think you don't have to be so serious.
For example, Japanese people say "Sumimasen" for even the slightest thing, but Vietnamese people often say "Xin lỗi" in quite serious cases.
It is also rare to use this phrase with family members or familiar people, and it is not common to hear this phrase when listening to Vietnamese people interacting with each other at work. In this sense, "Xin lỗi" can be considered a phrase that is not similar to the Japanese "excuse me" or "gomen samae" (sorry).
Why do you want me to "thông cảm" (empathize)?
On the other hand, in a situation where one would normally say "excuse me" or "I'm sorry" in Japanese, one might hear "Thông cảm nhé." (Sympathize with me). This word translates directly to "sympathy" or "compassion," but Japanese people sometimes feel that "what's the sympathy? What is empathy? The following is an example of what this means.
In the past, a lack of coordination among staff at a client caused our company to have to do things twice. At that time, there was a staff turnover, and the handover was not done well. After the Vietnamese staff at the other party explained such circumstances, they would sometimes say to me, "Thông cảm nhé. (Sympathize with me.)". The interpretation of this intention was, "This is the reason why this happened, and I feel sorry for you. I hope you can sympathize with my current feelings".
In other words, "Thông cảm" (sympathy) used in this situation also implies an apology and that he wants you to understand his feelings. There are often other similar cases, but I still find it hard to explain where there is no direct apology.
Incidentally, if you are dealing with Vietnamese staff in English, you may see the word "Sympathy". This is still a translation of the "Thông cảm" mentioned above, and the intent is the same.
When this phrase is uttered by a Vietnamese person, please assume that the intention is to apologize in passing.
author (usu. of a particular book, etc.)
Takuma Inada
Representative of SESSA VIETNAM CO.
Profile
After working in Vietnam for 7 years in the human resource field, he established SESSA VIETNAM, a human resource consulting company in 2021. In 2021, he established SESSA VIETNAM, a human resource consulting company. The company provides human resource consulting services for companies and job seekers, focusing on "recruitment", "labor consultation", and "work permit acquisition on behalf of clients".
He has made it a daily routine to observe Vietnamese people and think about the "why and what" of Vietnam. His motto is "If you do it, it will come to you.
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